McBouncy and I were in town today. That sounds quite alarming. It generally is.
Searching for the perfect gift for a friend, we ended up in The China Shop looking at jewellery (China Shop? Jewellery? Really?). My general method of carrying out such a task is this:
Enter shop. Look around. When asked if you need any help, smile politely and say you’re just looking – regardless of whether you actually need help or not. This avoids attracting any unnecessary attention to yourself. Locate the jewellery stand (which, admittedly, you would have done much sooner if your reply to the afore-mentioned question had been “Yes, I’m looking for jewellery”). Decide on an item. Hover uncertainly for a while, hoping to catch someone’s eye (like a shop assistant, as opposed to a potential love interest, although that might be nice, too). Eventually sidle up to the counter and ask for assistance in your most apologetic tones, as if it’s the crime of the century to be asking them to do what is in fact their job. Point out the required item, pay for it with as little conversation as possible in case you say something embarrassing, and leave the shop with your purchase, feeling relieved.
I don’t know why shopping scares the living daylights out of me, it just does. It’s yet another social situation I’ve never been totally sure how to handle. I used to literally hide behind my mother when we were in a shop, but that doesn’t work any more because I’m 6 inches taller than her (and also because we don’t actually go shopping together).
Anyway, McBouncy’s method of approaching the above task is slightly different, and goes something like this:
Enter shop. March up to counter declaring your need for assistance. Demand to see all available jewellery, and ensure that all shop assistants on the premises are attending to you. Talk non-stop about totally unrelated things such as, for example, sitting in a hot-tub with your husband. Take your shoes off so that you can “concentrate better”. Argue heatedly – with yourself - about which of two items to buy. Compromise by choosing one for the friend in question, and just buying the other one for yourself. Leave cheerfully. Pause outside shop and consider bemused expressions on faces of shop assistants. Ask shopping companion in genuine concern: “Do you think I scared them?”
We are such extreme opposites, I’m really not sure how we became friends. I’m glad we did, though. It’s much more fun, her way.
Filed under: Ballymena, conversations, friends, shopping
Here’s what happened when my children were little – hiding behind me was not an option.
If said children were buying something for themselves, i.e. toy, book, item of clothing etc. I helped them to choose it, gave the child money and sent them up to counter to make their own transaction. I’d hover discreetly in case the shop assistant was a conning rogue and let them get on with it.
It was tough on the oldest who was extremely shy, as you must have been, but I think it did them all good. It was a lesson in independence, social skills, handling money and please & thank you.
HAHAHA
Nelly – all very well, but my mother was even more painfully shy than we were. I’m surprised we ever got any groceries, to be honest.
Ally – indeed.
What about the 70th birthday card I found lying in the middle of the road?(unused in carrier bag)
The one I took into the butchers with me and asked if they knew anyone approaching their 70th, who they would like to give a card to!
Now that was a confused face!!
I’d blocked that from my memory.