A Cry For Help

This morning, I exchanged the following dialogue with my cat.

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: Good morning, Kat.

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: Are you hungry?

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: I’m getting up in a minute.

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: In a minute!

Kat: Miaow! Miaow! Miaow! Miaow!

Hails: Right! Right! I’m up, are you happy, now, are you?

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: Let’s go then. (stomping angrily down the stairs) What would you like? Bagel with cream cheese and smoked salmon? Hmm?

Kat: Miaow! Miiiiiiiaaaaaaaowwwwww!

Hails: No? Shall I cook you some kippers? A nice fried breakfast?

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: Give me a second to put the coffee on.

Kat: (mewing reaches levels of insanity) Miaow! Miaow! Miaow! Miaow!

Hails: Look, I’m just -

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: I’m just PUTTING THE COFFEE ON, can you -

Kat: Miaow!

Hails: Look, what is your problem, Kat?!!! You know I’m going to feed you, have I ever forgotten? Have I? No. So why can’t you just shut the -

Kat: Miaow! Miaow! Miaow!

Hails: Right!!!!! Fine!!!!! As your majesty wishes. Don’t come near me or I swear I’ll kick you through the window.

Kat: Miaow! Miaow! Miaow! Miaow!

Hails: I’m doing it! I’m DOING it! You can see the flamin’ food in my hand!! Why are you still miaowing?! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!

I have a friend from America coming to stay with me for a few months. She arrives in a week. I think she may be just in time to save me from my growing madness.

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5 Responses

  1. Maybe she just likes a bit of conversation in the mornings.

  2. I had a cat who would actually BITE me until I fed her in the mornings. Trust me – you’re getting off lightly.

  3. I had a cat who would actually BITE me until I fed her in the mornings. Trust me – you’re getting off lightly.

  4. Well… we have a love-hate relationship, Kat and I. I’d miss her if she wasn’t annoying me, anyway!

  5. [...] Cats  Also no surprise there to long-time readers. I accepted my eventual status as a crazy cat lady many years ago, although I am currently catless as I couldn’t cope with the thought [...]

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