Coffee Helps

My sheep has no head.

It’s one thing to break into someone’s house and steal from it; it’s quite another thing to break in and decapitate their sheep. I mean, really. How do I go about reporting such a crime to the police? Yes, Officer, here’s how it happened:

Sister and I left for work as usual yesterday morning. We locked the door, leaving the house safe and all fridge magnets intact. We had no reason to fear for their safety – it was just like any other morning. Imagine my horror when I returned at around 5.20pm to find my Mark Owen picture lying magnetless on the worktop, next to a very sad and helpless little figure (I nearly said sheepish, there, quite unintentionally). Sister arrived home as I was holding the headless sheep (and his head) in my hand, a stricken expression on my face. She, too, expressed her grief at such an unnecessary, unprovoked attack. Together, we documented the crime scene in case the police should require photographic evidence.

I don’t want to point any fingers, but I gave Dirk a key to my house the other day so he can use my computer while I’m at work, as their internet’s not up and running yet. However. It would be wrong for me to accuse him of decapitating my sheep. Just because he’s the only other person with a key.

Filed under: animal cruelty, break-in, confusion, decapitation, Fear, sheep, woe, worry