Coffee Helps

Things took a turn for the worse this morning, as far as the whole stalker/cat thing goes.

We’re really getting a little fed up with the constant eerie howling outside, although the plus side to this is that Kat also seems to have had enough of it. She scared the wits out of me last night. I was innocently sitting on the sofa writing an email, and the cat suddenly sprang up from my knee, leapt dramatically over my head, slammed into the window and started hissing violently at Tom, who continued to wail on the other side of the glass.

“Howwwwwwwl!” said Tom Cat, staring obsessively through the window.

“Hissssssssssss!” said Kat, glaring back with the fury of a woman scorned.

“Arrrghhhhhhh!” said I, dropping the laptop and shielding my head in fright.

“What,” said The Sister angrily, coming into the room holding her First Aid revision notes, “is going on now?”

The three of us sat in a defensive line at the window, staring out at Tom Cat. Tom Cat stared back, evilly.

He is not taking the hint, for I think he sat there all night. “Please, please go away!” I pleaded reasonably with him as I left for work this morning. He hissed viciously at me, and I edged nervously around him, backing out of the garden gate and running to the car.

I’d only been in work for 20 minutes when the text message arrived from The Sister. The inevitable had happened, and all hell had broken loose.

OMG!!!  Scared. Evil cat got in2 house, is goin mad. Him & kat in ur bed, peed everywhere, told u he is MAD. Help… am so late 4 wrk but can’t gt him out!!

I could do nothing but sit with my head in my hands, moaning softly. Evil Tom Cat has destroyed my home and ravaged my cat. In my bed. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, and was doing a strange combination of both when Zed arrived. Wordlessly, I reached her my phone, and she read the message. Also without a word, she slid the diary across the desk to me, circling today’s date before giving me an affectionate pat on the shoulder and walking away.

I wish people would stop taking a hand out of me. It’s too easy - surely it should have stopped being fun by now?