Recently, there were a few requests for a farewell post from everyone’s favourite lunatic, Kat the Cat. I don’t know whether to be proud or hurt that her writing is clearly much more popular than mine, but my blog is as much for my readers as for myself, and I have grudgingly given in. And so, for the second (and final) time, I give you…
Kat’s Mewsings
One is not amused.
One has had the feeling forrr some time now that Something is definitely Going On, owing to the appearrrance of many boxes and bags in one’s house and Yerrr Wumman’s apparrrent deterrrmination to cause as much chaos and disrrruption to one’s norrrmally strrress-frrree life as possible. Then people starrrted calling rrround and hugging Yerrr Wumman quite tearrrfully. One thought perrrhaps Yerrr Wumman was dying, and was even starrrting to feel a little sympathetic.
But then, tonight, one overrrhearrrd a most distrrressing converrrsation between Yerrr Wumman and Yerrr Otherrr Wumman Who Seems To Have Been Living In One’s House Forrr Severrral Months Without Everrr Asking One’s Perrrmission. It seems that Yerrr Wumman is leaving the countrrry at the weekend! Not that one is going to miss herrr, orrr anything, with herrr ditherrring and forrrrgetting to let one in when one is stuck outside in the rrrain. Why, just today she attempted to thrrrow one out with a bag of videos and clothes, claiming not to have known that one had currrled up inside the bag forrr a much-needed nap! No, it is more a case of the fact that one is apparrrently going to be homeless.
One hearrrd herrr telling Yerrr Otherrr Wumman that she can’t find anyone to adopt one. One is morrre than a little offended. Yerrr Otherrr Wumman is going to rrremain in one’s house forrr a few weeks, but afterrr that, it seems that one is going to be out on one’s earrr.
And so, rrreaders, one asks you to searrrch deep within yourrr hearrrt until you discoverrr yourrr need forrr a Verrry Imporrrtant Cat. One simply cannot become some kind of vagabond, reduced to living on the strrreets like Evil Tom Cat (one’s ex). One has taken the matterrr into one’s own paws. Let the offerrrs commence, please.
And good rrriddance to Yerrr Wumman. One is cerrrtain that one can do so much betterrr…
Filed under: anger, blogging, cat, conversations, Moving house, Uncategorized, woe
Farewell dear Kat, behave like a lady for the next few days anyway