I’ve just spent a very entertaining half hour scrolling through a list of words and phrases that people have typed into search engines, resulting in them finding my blog. And the top search term ever?
Dingbats.
Eh? Why on earth are hundreds of people searching for ‘dingbats’ and ending up at Coffee Helps? This is clearly the reason that Dingbats and Dipsticks is my most read post of all time (kudos to The Housemate), but why are so many people searching for information on Dingbats on a daily basis? It’s a little confusing.
Do frogs feel pain? is another popular option, along with frogs blow straw and inflate frog. Pah. I seem to have inadvertently advertised the barbaric practice of frog inflation, to my dismay. Just say no, kids. The good old elastic band ball has also generated quite an impressive volume of site traffic, not to mention the Scrabulous tournament (you know, the one that never went anywhere after the first frantic and highly stressful round… perhaps the Stray one has been busy with more important people..) and, oddly, inspirational Beatles lyrics (an angry post which really makes little sense unless you’ve read the previous post).
Depressed cat is up there, too, with other cat-related terms such as My cat is crazy and Garfield Monday. It does not bode well for those seeking a change of career that CV excellent communication skills leads them to my blog rather than to a respectable CV advice site; however, I feel much sorrier for the person who searches for things like What is excellent communication skills? - good luck, buddy.
Less frequent and more obscure search terms take us to phrases like Ally McBeal dismount, Larry Paul glasses, Crocs Castlecourt, big mugs, Rod, Jane and Freddy scandal, my head is spinning, and Tallinn nudism. And that’s not even mentioning the fact that an alarming number of people seem to be coming to me for piercing advice, with search terms like how to insert a corkscrew nose ring, nose ring shape, my nose piercing looks red, and nose red outside, hurts. Erm. Hope I helped.
If I were the sort of person who knew a lot about SEO, I’d doubtless be writing about the Lisbon Treaty, Euro 2008, and your everyday porn stars/topless models in order to lure more unsuspecting readers to my blog (do you see what I did there, eh?). However, I know nothing about such things. And also, it’s not like I’m making money from it, so it doesn’t really matter if I have 200 visitors a day, or just 2.
But the thought of someone finding me by typing rude old grannies into a search engine just fills me with unspeakable mirth. And so I will continue to find great enjoyment in my blog stats and their hidden entertainment. Keep searching…
Filed under: blogging, search engines, strange, weird
Yeah yeah, I know. Though it is hard to move to the next round when all the first round games weren’t finished. I have learned (and learnt, given what our common heritage is) a lesson. FoaF recommendations take with pinches and salt. Your fine self excepted, of course.
There have been (I am sure you are aware) other suggestions of what to do. These were Good Suggestions. And while it is true have been busy, and some of the time with Important People, I should get into gear and sort it out. Maybe.
Hi Hails,
If you go to google browser and type in ‘ageing ungracefully’ (ahem) you will find ‘Coffee Helps July 2007′ is on the bottom of page 3!
Happy travelling – both on and off the web!
Stray – It’s not something that’s causng me to lose sleep. The tournament itself, however… that nearly gave me a breakdown.
Geri – Erm… seems like you have just as much time on your hands as I do!
It was the good old elastic band ball that brought me here and wasted an hour of works time
Cheers for the entertainment
Ah, the band ball… I can’t help but wonder if it is still sitting proudly on my old desk, or if they heartlessly threw it away when I left…
Still. I’m glad to see I’m still helping people to waste time at work. Welcome, HB!