Saw this over at Bevchen‘s. It’s a finish-the-sentences meme, and it gave me the inspiration I needed to actually write a post today…
1. My uncle once: shared the spiked hair and general appearance of the young Gary Barlow, and entertained us by crooning A Million Lovesongs into a microphone (or, erm, the phone handset) every time he came over.
2. Never in my life: have I been attacked by insects as much as I have in Belgium. The bitemarks are getting bigger and more gruesome by the day.
3. When I was five: I won a Harriet Hippo tea set from Twinkle Comic For Little Girls. I was so proud. I kept the clipping with the list of winners for years, bringing it out occasionally to look at my name in print.
4. High school was: at times terrible, at other times fantastic. I think everyone would say the same!
5. I will never forget: the feeling of sheer joy when I finally passed my driving test after far too much trying.
6. Once I met: Cobra from Gladiators. He was… like a perfectly sculpted work of art.
7. There’s this girl I know: who, at 40 years old, has only a couple of years left to live. She is the smiliest, happiest, sunniest person I have ever had the pleasure of being around, and I have not once heard her complain about anything. Makes you think.
8. Once, at a bar: I got pushed over and trampled in a crowd surge… at a guest appearance from Tyrone Tom from Big Brother. Rockin’.
9. By noon, I’m usually: thinking about getting up. I’m a night person, me.
10. Last night: I booked my fiver-a-time flights to Hungary and Sweden in the Ryanair sale, taught the parrot to say “Bout ye?”, acquired 7 new mosquito bites, had a very confusing conversation, and lay awake until 4am trying to switch my brain off.
11. If only I had: left my purse at home when I went out on Bastille Day.
12. Next time I go to church: will be when I’ve gotten over the last time.
13. What worries me most: running out of money and having to abandon my travels.
14. When I turn my head left I see: lots of houseplants, office furniture, and one of those big exercise balls that Dwight had in The Office.
15. When I turn my head right I see: the window, and through it, lots of trees. I am living beside a forest. Which kind of explains the insect problem…
16. You know I’m lying when: you somehow find out the truth.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: Secret bars and Grotbags.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Portia from The Merchant of Venice.
19. By this time next year: my body will be unrecognisable because of all the mosquito bites.
20. A better name for me would be: ….. I don’t know how to answer this. I’m sure some people could think of less than flattering names for me! But I’m quite content to be a Hayley, and I love being called Hails.
21. I have a hard time understanding: facts and figures, people who spend their lives arguing about politics, the book of Revelation, how anyone can drink coffee with sugar in it, Dutch, modern art, violence.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: worry less about exam results. I’ve realised now how little they actually meant. I could be doing what I’m doing now without ever having passed a single GCSE.
23. You know I like you if: I tell you so. Or hug you. Or give you a compliment.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: the people who voted for me to have the award. And then my parents, because everyone thanks their parents, and also because they’re probably reading this.
25. Take my advice, never: assume that a parrot won’t attack you just because you love all animals.
26. My ideal breakfast is: bagels… oh how I miss bagels. Bagels with cream cheese and smoked salmon, maybe some scrambled eggs on the side… strong coffee… orange juice… served on a tray, in bed, with a little flower in a tiny vase. In reality, I have a croissant or a slice of toast, usually whilst sorting out my work schedule for the day.
27. A song I love but do not have is: … pretty much any song that I love. I don’t ‘have’ any music nowadays. Can’t carry CDs around, and can’t afford downloads. I make do with radio and YouTube videos!
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: become familiar with roundabout etiquette.
29. Why won’t people: just get along?
30. If you spend a night at my house: I’ll be intrigued, since I don’t have one.
31. I’d stop my wedding for: Robert Downey Junior. Or some sort of natural disaster.
32. The world could do without: mosquitoes. I don’t like to keep harping on about it, but seriously. What do they contribute to the world, besides pain, itching, disease and torment?
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: have dozens of them crawling all over me.
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: McBouncy.
35. Paper clips are more useful than: mosquitoes. Oh, and my bank’s “helpline”.
36. If I do anything well it’s: attracting disaster. Falling over, losing things (including myself), getting into confusing situations and predicaments. Comes naturally to me!
37. I can’t help but: dance when I hear New Soul or It’s My Life.
38. I usually cry: at sad films, or when someone’s angry with me.
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: be careful: the world is full of insects. And don’t start smoking.
40. And by the way: Belgium isn’t very sunny after all.