Coffee Helps

And the answer, to my surprise, is “yes”.

Did you know this?! It’s certainly news to me. This morning, I was sitting in the garden having a cup of coffee and browsing through blog posts on Google Reader, when I spotted the dog behaving in a very excited manner, shoving its nose and paws into a small hole in the lawn. I called to him, having noticed several similar holes lately and becoming quite alarmed at the thought of the house owners coming back to disover that I’d let the dog destroy the garden. He paid no attention, and I spotted a bee hovering close to the ground.

Alarm became panic, as I’m pretty convinced that a bee sting must surely kill a dog that is small enough to fit into a handbag. Thankfully the bee flew away… only to be replaced by another almost immediately. Hmmm. Concerned, I got up and went over to where the dog was excitedly prancing around the hole in the ground. Two more bees were crawling around the tiny entrance. I was going to get closer, but I have clearly watched too many cartoons, for I knew that a million bees would suddenly emerge in a smoke-like cloud as soon as I leaned down to investigate, covering me, swarming over my helpless body as they stung me to death.

I grabbed the dog and came inside to research bees on the internet instead.

It appears that, in addition to sharing the house with a large percentage of the world’s mosquito population, I am now being invaded by all the bees that have supposedly been disappearing from the planet. This is where they’ve been gathering, possibly building a small underground army and plotting Total World Domination. Lots and lots of bees. Growing in strength and numbers. Waiting for the right time.

Of course, being a blogger, this situation is much more dangerous for me than it would be for a non-blogger, as it is in my nature to want to take a photograph of the scene. Which would probably be a lot easier were I not someone who jumps uncontrollably at even the sound of an insect, and screams wildly if one makes a sudden movement.

The dog became more and more excited as I repeatedly advanced towards the Bee HQ, bouncing around me and barking as I leaned down to take a picture, and then chasing me happily as I ran away, screaming, from the inevitable bee ambush. I was constantly beaten back by bees either emerging from or returning to the hole. The bees do not want the world to know where they have been hiding.

There are bees everywhere. I don’t think I’ll be going outside any more, ever.