Teacher, why you cry? asks a chorus of alarmed little voices.
The tears stream down my face and I take off my glasses as I attempt to stem the flow with a tissue. The area around each eye is red and sore from repeated attempts to do this.
It’s OK, it’s OK, I try to assure my worried kindergarteners. I’m not crying. I just…
I pause. Trying to explain allergies and sinus problems to 6-year-olds with beginner level English is just as difficult as trying to explain it to a middle-aged housewife with no English. I do what I always end up doing when I need to urgently convey a message, and speak in a string of random words accompanied by mime and bits of Korean. It goes something like this:
Crying no (arms crossed in an X – the Korean equivalent of our head shake).
My country – air (point outside) – wet. Breathe (deep inhalation) easy (thumbs up). Yes?
Here – air – dry. Breathe (deep inhalation) difficult (thumbs down). Nabudda. Yes?
Throat (point) dry. Hurt. Appune. Nose (point) stuffy (exaggerated sniff).
Sneeze (fake a sneeze). Cough (cough).
Eyes (point) water. Moule. Itchy (mime scratching). Yes? Rub (rub eyes). Appune. Sore. Red.
I share this anecdote simply to explain to you why it is that I am so animated in my speech these days, and why it is that ever since I became an English teacher the quality of my own spoken English has dropped so dramatically. I now speak in single word sentences and generally don’t bother to conjugate verbs. By the time you next see me, I will most likely be incapable of ordinary conversation, and you will be embarrassed by me when I make a big cross with my arms in a restaurant to tell the waiter that I don’t want anything else, thanks. When I ask if we’re leaving soon, I’ll simply say “Go. Now? Yes?” in a very loud voice, while pointing from us to the door. And I’ll probably keep saying things like “Salt. No.” instead of “Excuse me, I don’t seem to have any salt, would you mind passing me some?”.
Just warning you. Yes?
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That OK.
I go now?
I think you need to start reading some of those classics on your reading list – Dickens will have you back to speaking in 10 syllable words in no time.
Too funny! I feel like that’s how I communicate in French sometimes. And I definitely devolve into Franglais more often than not. Sometimes the French word is just there, and the English one isn’t, so out it comes!
And I love the arms crossed thing. So clearly means no.
How about herbal tea? I thought the Orient had herbs for everything. And if the tea doesn’t work internally, you could always inhale it. Sinus troubles are not to be sniffed at…
Sorry. *Miming contrite face* Going now…
The Germans swear by herbal tea for everything. Any one that contains eucalyptus should help. Also, menthol sweets. Can you get them over there? Aldi here does some excellent ones… if you give me your address I shall send you some.
Grandad – Yes.
My address is on my Facebook page (I’m just using my school address), but don’t feel I’ll now be expecting them and you’re under obligation – I will warn you now that the postage costs will probably be much higher than you imagine…!
MO – Yeah, I really need to get started on that list. Unfortunately getting a hold of English books is very difficult here! I’ll have to go to Seoul to find a decent English bookstore. And the chances of me actually being able to find a specific location in Seoul are probably not high, to be honest!
Camille – I adopted the arms crossed thing very quickly without even realising it. A headshake seems to be meaningless here! So I’m guessing I’m definitely going to get some funny looks next time I’m in a different country…
Geri – oh, they do have herbs for everything. It’s just that going in search of *anything* in shops is still something of a headache for me. I can read now, but sometimes that doesn’t necessarily help if the Korean name is something completely different from the English. Also, when I say I can read, I mean one item at a time, very very slowly! It’s not like being able to do a quick scan of the shelves in search of a particular item. If I do that, I just see a sea of meaningless symbols – I have to stare at each individual word for long enough to sound it out in my head, and by the time you’ve done that a few times you just lose interest. I usually only get halfway through my grocery list because of this, although that’s an improvement on just getting the first item, when I first got here. Never has shopping been so mentally draining!
bevchen – you can probably get them here, but see previous comment to Geri.
Got it
According to the German post office website it’s the same price as sending stuff to America
[...] I mime everything. [...]