The Big Swimming Pool

Well, this is the life.

I’ve been fortunate enough to land in another great little hostel – dirt cheap but without dirt, which is the way I like ‘em. I’m currently in the (outdoor) bar, sipping an ice cold beer, which cost approximately 50p. I’ve had to develop a taste for beer on my travels, despite hating it for most of my life, because soft drinks are expensive and nowhere’s heard of cider.

Anyway, I’m sipping my beer, listening to weird but upbeat Hungarian music, fighting off the occasional spider, and congratulating myself on leaving the beach before the sunburn became as horrific as I’ve allowed it to become in the past. Tonight, I had dinner at a little restaurant recommended to me by the hostel owner, who understood my worries about not knowing how to communicate with Hungarian waiters. There’s a nice leetle place on the shore, just over that way, he said, gesturing, which ees very cheap and serves good traditional food. They do not speak Eengleesh, but they have peectures of the food on the walls, so you can just point!

Amused, I set off to find it, and was not disappointed.

As instructed, I pointed at a picture of something that looked vaguely like fish and chips, and was served something unidentifiable but delicious. Not fish… probably not chicken… look, as long as I don’t know, it’s fine.

The earlier part of the day was spent wandering around the villages and sunbathing on the grassy beach. The water is wonderful – it’s like a giant heated swimming pool, and because it’s not seawater, you don’t get the nasty side effects of tasting salt for the next week, or your hair going all matted and dry. It’s the first time I’ve been able to swim properly in such a large volume of water without getting battered back by enormous waves – I swam out for about about 15 minutes, and then realised how far away the shore was, so headed back to dry off in the sunshine. Had one of my “this only happens to rich people!” moments as I lay there basking in the heat, but those are starting to pass much more quickly, these days.

Photos of the beautiful scenery will hopefully follow tomorrow, when I hope to navigate my way to the Lookout Tower (oh, woohoo, more steps!!), as it’s apparently going to be a bit cooler by then. For now: cheers! Wish you were here. Actually, today I was watching a couple of girls chatting to each other on the beach, and had a sudden pang for the company of The Sister. She’d love it here, I thought to myself. When I returned to the hostel room, however, I remembered why I’d realised the previous night that she’d actually hate it here:

There are a lot of spiders and insects in Hungary. Fortunately I’ve learned to become less afraid of such things, so I can quite easily ignore that familar mosquito whine in the dark, brush off the millions of large, bizarre-looking green flying things, and let the multitude of enormous spiders go about their helpful business of building webs to catch them all. I’m trying not to think about how many spiders must be running all over me in my sleep. They’re not doing me any harm… I hope. I may need to rethink things slightly if I suddenly become violently ill.

In which I dig a hole for myself

I’m not normally one for posting photos of myself on my blog. There are enough Genuinely Frightening photographs of me on various social networking sites to scare anyone for life, and I generally try to compensate by not adding any more. This, however, has to be seen for my foolishness to be believed.

The cheesy handwave isn’t meant to be cheesy; it’s actually there for contrast, i.e. normal skin colour vs. current facial skin colour. The really disturbing thing about it is that this roasting happened only a couple of days after my blog post about my previous painful experiences with the sun.

:::sigh:::

Anyway, yesterday I took the advice of Foreigner and went on a little daytrip to Pärnu – Estonia’s “Summer City”. It is, as she suggested, a beautiful place, and I was particularly taken with the beach. Warm, white sand, sparklingly clear water, beach cafés and bars, volleyball nets, playground games, music… it was an ideal place to relax after, erm, a couple of days of work (you have to ease yourself back into these things). I lay on the sand for a few hours, just appreciating life, feeling the warmth of the sunlight on my face, and trailing my fingers lazily through the fine sand.

I was woken from my half-doze by a little boy who had been playing nearby. He said something to me, and I shook my head. Ma ei räägi eesti keelt. He repeated his babbling, and I shrugged helplessly, prompting him to look at his babysitter, a girl of around my age, in some confusion. She spoke to him at length, evidently explaining our language barrier in greater detail than my five words would allow. He did not appear to understand, and continued to attempt to communicate with me. Eventually I realised that I had absent-mindedly been digging a small hole in the sand as I trailed my fingers through it. Small Boy was interested in my project, and suddenly arrived at my side with two plastic spades, one of which he offered to me.

Erm… aitäh! I said as I accepted it in some amusement, watching as he began to dig in quite a purposeful manner. He kept looking at me and babbling quite sternly, so I meekly obeyed and joined him in some serious digging. Small Boy communicated with me in short phrases and hand gestures, having apparently concluded that my lack of speech meant that I was some sort of slightly stupid overgrown child.

Before long, we had a very deep Hole In The Sand, which we surveyed with satisfaction. Small Boy was saying something about which he was clearly quite excited, but I could not understand him. Frustrated, he turned to his babysitter, who was grinning. Ah, yes… she said to me, in halting English, he asks if you do not mind to be… ah… She, too, began the odd hand gestures, apparently having difficulty finding the right word. I watched helplessly as the pair of them mimed something utterly ridiculous, until eventually the babysitter indicated the Hole In The Sand and added …to be under it?

Excellent. Small Boy wanted to bury me on the beach. It was like one of my worst nightmares coming true, and I was powerless to stop it for fear of making him cry or something. Helplessly, I got into the Hole In The Sand, and Small Boy began to shovel sand around me in delight. The Babysitter looked increasingly overcome with mirth, and did nothing to change what was happening to me at the hands of her charge.

I had to stay in the hole for at least 15 minutes before he got bored and dug me out. I’ll probably have nightmares about it for many years to come.

Burn, baby, burn.

I’ve just realised that I’ve managed to get my back and shoulders spectacularly sunburnt.

Please dismiss any images of lounging around soaking up the rays on a beach that that sentence might conjure up, for they would be wildly inaccurate. I’ve been working very hard today. On a Sunday, for shame. Tsk.

Of course, ‘work’ no longer means ‘sitting at a desk in a darkened room with no window for eight hours a day’. Thanks to the marvels of freelance writing, I can work where and when I choose to, which, it goes without saying, drastically transforms my attitude to it. I love my job!

Brief pause as I reflect upon exactly how many years I’ve spent longing to say that with a straight face.

And so it is that I got out of bed when I felt like it, made a nice big pot of coffee, and settled myself at the floor-to-ceiling windows of the appartment to tackle my work in the warmth of the sunlight. Feeling slightly like I was on show in a greenhouse, I threw the window wide open and enjoyed the cool breeze as I typed. As a result, a casual glance in the mirror when I stopped for lunch revealed, to my dismay, some upsettingly red portions of skin. That’s going to hurt.

I am no stranger to sunburn, being a girl of Very Little Brain who consistently fails to learn from some of life’s more painful lessons. Forever etched upon my mind is the fateful family holiday in Tenerife, where I spent at least one day (probably more – it’s all a bit blurry) in bed because of a severe case of sunstroke. It improved my Spanish slightly, as I could only move enough to switch on the TV, so I spent my time groaning feverishly and watching dubbed episodes of The X Files and Friends.

Fastforward to a few summers later, when I took a break from my A Level revision to have lunch in the back garden. Naturally, I fell asleep on the sun lounger, and with no one there to wake me up I found myself sitting some of my exams in a considerable amount of sunburnt pain. Putting on school socks over red-raw skin is not a pleasant task.

Yet still I did not learn. A camping trip to Tollymore Forest Park with a group of friends a few years ago saw me lying blissfully in the sun, uttering phrases like “Ahhh… this is the life!” before predictably falling asleep. That was dire – so badly burnt was I that I needed assistance to get up from my inflatable mattress the next morning. Poor Lollibelle had to half-carry me to the showers, where she threw me in and waited anxiously outside as I stood, swaying dangerously and propped up against the wall, underneath a lifesaving stream of cold water.

Still. Getting sunburnt whilst sitting at my ‘desk’ is such a novelty that I don’t think I can bring myself to complain.

This is the life!

Merry Christmas!

I’m going to stay with The Parents for a couple of days. Kat’s coming too -we’d be lonely here on our own. Anyway, they don’t have a computer, let alone internet access, so I’ll be taking a break from blogging for a wee while. Don’t worry, I’ll take notes and write it up when I get home…

Hope you all have a great Christmas!

Holidays From Hell

I’m tired.

I collected Sister and The Boyfriend from the airport on Sunday morning, on their return from Tunisia. The flight got in at around 3.30am, in the end, and I got to bed at about 4.30am.

Very tired.

“Well, did you have a good time?” I asked as I drove around a roundabout several times in a confused manner.

“Huh,” grunted The Boyfriend.

Sister shrugged. “It was Okay…. except that everything in the brochure was a lie. It said there was fantastic entertainment. There was nothing. Everywhere was closed by 6 o’clock, so a crowd of us just sat in the hotel bar getting drunk every night. It said there was a hairdrier in the room – there wasn’t. I dried my hair by hanging my head over the balcony every time there was a breeze. The staff were horrible. The rep was completely useless. We all had to rally together and pool our resources. It was like… like…” she paused, her hands waving excitedly. “It was like wartime, Blitz spirit and all that!” Quite. Sister can be quite melodramatic at times. Fortunately I have escaped that particular family trait.

“However,” she added, brightening considerably, “I was up on a camel for about an hour.”

So very tired.

Camping Snapshot #1: The Little Things In Life

It’s the midges that get me. I mean, literally get me. They’ve always been interested in me, but since I got my hair cut short and applied liberal amounts of styling product to it, the wee sods seem to make a bee-line (midge-line?) for me. Of course, my hair is so mad that it’s the equivalent of a lost explorer finding themselves in the middle of the Catacombs of Paris without a map: once they’re in there, they simply ain’t finding their way out. Or maybe they get stuck in the gel, I don’t know. Anyway, the fact remains that when night falls and I’m outdoors in a wooded area, my scalp becomes an adventure playground with on-site diner for travelling midges.

I itched and scratched and jumped and complained and wriggled and yelped and rubbed.

“Would you like me to spray you?” offered my dear friend McBouncy, kindly. Alarmed, I backed away. Fortunately the bottle she was brandishing turned out to be insect repellant, and I grudgingly allowed myself to be doused. “Let us spray,” remarked Monkey Man, observing the scene from a distance with some amusement.

The spray was about as effective as a scarecrow made of birdseed. Itching and half-eaten, I jumped at the chance to go into the town for a while, and joined some others in Dee’s car. “Argh!” said Betsy, flapping wildly in the back seat. “There are 2 midges in here!” She rolled down her window, looking alarmed and confused at my yells of protest, and watched in dismay as 893 midges swarmed in. “Oh, right,” she said, meekly rolling the window back up. 895 more midges joined the party in my hair.

I love camping.

Parental Travels: Update

Re: yesterday’s post, concerning the parental unit’s trip to Cultural Places In England.

 Just got this text from mum.

Just bn 2 cheddar gorge. In cave! Wow!! Now in bath. Rain.

What can you say to that?

Redefining “holidays”

 

stonehenge1.gif

The parental unit has taken itself off to England this week. I think they’re growing up – at the age of 50-something, they’ve decided that they’ve had enough of insane holidays in sunny holiday resorts, drinking their bodyweight in sangria and sleeping off hangovers by the pool. Bravo, mum and dad! I’m so proud. So, they now feel the need to “see and experience everything”. Last year, this meant the Alps, log cabins and a variety of pungent cheeses. This year, it’s Stonehenge and, err… whatever else there is to see in that general area (I may not have been paying much attention). I got a text from mum last night, happily informing me that they were “listening to jazz band on pier”.

So, it seems the times are a-changin’. Gone are the days when the furthest they’d walk was to the bar. I’ll never forget that classic holiday moment when, at some sort of tribute band night involving a Michael Jackson impersonator, dad decided to show off his moonwalking skills. He’d consumed a vat of whisky by that stage, and once he found his rhythm he seemed to find it difficult to get stopped. The unfortunate consequence of this was that, as he was moving backwards and therefore couldn’t see where he was going, he moonwalked with great gusto into the ladies’ toilets. It was rather embarrassing. Still, it’s probably one of those things you need to get out of your system at some point in your life.

To be fair, Sister and myself did develop a mild obsession with Butlin’s  sexy redcoats in our early teens, thus dooming mum and dad to a Groundhog Day-like existence for several years, with any hopeful suggestions of a family holiday in the South of France greeted with dismayed wails of “But we wanna go to Butttttliiiinnnnn’s!”. It was our fault, when you think about it. We forced them into a repeated holiday nightmare of getting drunk in holiday camp themed ‘family’ pubs. So accustomed did they become to this definition of ‘holiday’, that they were for many years unable to break the pattern, finding themselves drawn to alcohol-soaked foreign holiday resorts like immigrants to O’Kane’s chicken factory.

Starved of culture and intellectual stimulation for so many years as a result of their selfless parenting, it’s perfectly understandable that they want to spend their years of new-found freedom staring at big piles of rocks.

Cultural rocks.

Having a ‘this time last year’ moment…

This time last year I was on my way to America.

It’s one of those things that has become hazy in my mind, like it could all have been a dream that never really came true. How could Hails, born and raised in Spide City (phrase copyright Nelly’s Garden), nervous, scatty and on a generally tight budget, really have flown alone to New York, walked the Brooklyn Bridge, sailed past the Statue of Liberty on the Staten Island Ferry, stood at the site of the Twin Towers, walked through Central Park, visited Strawberry Fields and travelled on the NYC  underground? I can hardly believe I was really there. People like me don’t do things like that!

When I think about it all, I just end up smiling. ‘Cause y’know what? I did it.

A different red-white-and-blue

Flag

 Yesterday was the 4th of July. Just another day to us, but apparently an excuse for a party as far as the Americanos are concerned. Happily, I live next door to four of them, so I had a little taster… decorations, burgers, nachos, flags, balloons, the USA national anthem… and a lot of fun.

Interesting American fact learned last night: if the flag falls to the ground, it is considered damaged or disrespected, and has to be destroyed! I think my friends are going to feel right at home with the joyous Union-Jack-and-Tricolour-burning celebrations that are sure to take place over the next few months. Not that the Norn Irish have such noble, proud reasons, of course – we just burn them for fun. And to wind up the ‘other side’. Sure it’s all good craic, like. We even light the odd car here and there, too!

Anyway, I just ‘hung out’ next door last night after the party. We played some games, talked some nonsense, took some pictures and drank some coffee. Amidst perfectly serious conversations, E2 kept making various surreal remarks like

Female hair grows more slowly than male hair

Hair grows faster in warm weather

Redheads have fewer hairs on their heads than brunettes and blondes

Suddenly someone asks:

E2, where are you getting all this? What are you reading?

E2 looks up from her laptop and says, with the contented smile of a child who’s been given a Beano annual…

Hair Facts!

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