When is it OK to yell?

You know those Airline programmes, where they basically film everybody getting pissed off because their flights are delayed?

I used to watch those in a sort of amused horror, laughing and cringing as people attacked the poor airline workers in crazed frenzies. Since then, I’ve travelled through many airports and seen lots of tense conversations, but never the sort of ridiculous drama of those shows… until now.

And the scary thing? I can actually understand it now. I feel like it would take very little right now to snap the thread holding on my mask of calmness and quiet dignity, and turn me into a screaming, crying, shrieking lunatic trying to beat the crap out of a total stranger. I mean, I nearly shoved someone earlier just for walking in my path, and I was surprised by the urge I had to shake a woman who was moaning about the fact that she’d been stuck at the airport all night. I paid to go to London Heathrow on the 18th, she whined, glaring at the airline worker, and now it is the 19th. This is not good enough. Why am I sleeping on a cold floor and not being flown to London Heathrow RIGHT NOW?

Because London Heathrow is CLOSED, ma’am, said the harrassed airline worker. And this is the thing, you see, about complaining. I can understand it if it’s going to change something – but really, what can an overwhelmed representative really do about the fact that your destination won’t let you in on account of it being all covered in snow? You just have to accept it and wait patiently.

But that’s very difficult to do when you’ve been looking forward to being on the other end of that flight for so long, and it’s Christmas, and you want to see your family and cuddle your cat, so I have to confess I understand how the frustration can turn into rage at the only people who are there. You’re disappointed, you’re tired, you need a shower, you’re hungry and thirsty… oh, yes, when I finally got a food voucher (there is no ATM in the terminal) I joined the hundreds-strong queue at the only restaurant, only for them to run out of food when I was halfway along the line! Sigh. I ended up going very humbly to one of the Red Cross volunteers who have been providing sleeping bags and suchlike, and begging for a bottle of water.

While I have remained my usual patient, “oh, no problem, don’t worry about it” self on the outside, I’ve been gradually unravelling on the inside, to the point where a kind and helpful email from a friend earlier made me start to cry, sitting there surrounded by people. I hurriedly dried the tears and decided to search for a new way home instead – but had there been someone there for me to scream pointlessly at at that moment, I might well have done so!

On the plus side, many random conversations with strangers have been had in French. There’s that spirit of “everybody help each other out, we’re all in the same boat here, or at least wish we were in a boat”. As I type this, curled up by a power socket I found sneakily hiding beside a check-in machine, I have the iPhone of some guy plugged into my laptop to recharge it, and what’s more he trustingly has left me with it to go and get me some food. The only regrettable part of all this human interaction is that when the first girl approached me she spoke so fast that I got confused and said “please speak slowly” in Korean instead of French. Ah well.

Original flight abandoned. Had to get out of the crazy terminal filled with mad people. Dublin flight booked. So much for my paid-for vacation. Don’t care, as long as I get out of here soon!

Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain…

I’ve said it before and I will say it again, as unfortunately there is no way for me to avoid it: I hate flying.

However, the uncomfortable 13 hours in a cramped plane seat would have been worth it to then get off in London as planned and hop on over home. I watched the little “we are here” plane on the screen as it got closer and closer to our destination, and was almost thinking that it was actually going to happen, when all of a sudden it did a neat little u-turn and proceeded to circle over the Netherlands for a while before disappearing altogether as the actual plane landed in Dear Knows Where.

There were various muffled announcements about our snowy plight, but I didn’t manage to hear much as my ears had popped quite painfully, and also the announcements were all made in Korean first, which meant that all the Koreans reacted and talked when it was over, making the English translation difficult to hear, especially with broken ears.

They kept us in that horrible, dark tin can for hour after hour after hour, until my legs were throbbing with the agony of sitting in such a cramped space for upwards of 20 hours. Then they decided Heathrow wasn’t going to reopen after all, and herded us off the plane, which is when I discovered I was in Brussels.

I have been napping on a sleeping bag on the floor of a an airport terminal, which looks like a refugee camp. I am thirsty and can find no water. I am hungry, and did not get my promised food vouchers. Nor do I have any money. Nor can I find a cash machine. The only information I can find is a departures screen with about a million flights to Heathrow, all saying CANCELLED in pretty red letters. There are no staff whatsoever.

Flying sucks, and flying in winter apparently sucks even more. White Christmas? Bah, humbug. Let it rain, let it rain, let it rain…

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